The Duke and The Doctor

This is one of my guilty listening pleasures.  (The guiltiest one I have is
John Tesh.  His helpful hints are ahhhhmazing!!)  

I used to hate the Duke and the Doctor, but now that my little one is in
school every day until noon, it has really grown on me. I actually pulled
into a health & wellness store during regular programming to see if they
carried "Vitalogic" products. The Duke and the Doctor say any reputable
health food store does, but this particular one did not. 

I often find myself listening to a caller and immediately identifying with
his/her symptoms. "Yes, that's it! That is what I have!"  It goes off like
an alarm clock in my body.  Of course, the Duke and the Doctor remain calm
and tell them to knock off the meds and take Vitalogic XYZ.... This vitamin
regimen must be the shiznit because they recommend it for everything from
dementia to cancer. Apparently I have both, plus arthritis, the plague, and
PTSD from war.  

So, this Christmas I am asking for the entire Vitalogic regimen.  As I
listen to the program, I think "maybe I will become a picture of health;
maybe I will run a marathon!!!" But these thoughts of health are quickly
fleeting when the next radio program comes on...Ag Talk...and all I want is
a 100% beef hamburger.