When I was little I wanted to
be a dolphin trainer. Research on the subject brought me to the harsh
realization that you have to go to Texas A&M for this, and your chances of
ever touching an actual dolphin are slim. More than likely you get your
degree in Marine Biology then work in a local aquarium and get to be in charge
of a catfish exhibit. Did you know that most water-bound mammal trainers
at Sea World don’t even get to start that gig until they’re into their forties?
I looked into Zoology as well, but the odds are the same. Start out
in a gift shop, work your way to the petting farm, then onto a bona-fide zoo
animal. I ruled Zoology out as well. With my luck I would be
assigned to train a gibbon or something, and I freaking haaaaate monkeys
(anyone seen the movie “Monkeyshines”?)
Onto college, where Texas Tech
graciously accepted me despite my mediocre SAT scores. I decided to go
into advertising; I thought I would really enjoy it. Producing
commercials and creating slogans seemed fun. I did enjoy all my Mass
Communication classes until a little booger called Mass Comm Law came up in my
schedule. Seriously, it was as if the professor was speaking
Russian. I tried my hardest, but that class was not good for my GPA. By
the time my junior year rolled around, I learned that being in advertising was
not only tough to break into, but not very lucrative coming fresh out of
college. I was minoring in speech, and my favorite class I ever took was
International Speech Communications. What could I do with that? Teach! I
changed my major to Education, took a undesirable amount of summer school and
eventually graduated. I loved majoring in Education. I went from
copyright case law studies to reading Charlotte's Web and creating a diorama
about it. Teaching gave me the opportunity to get a job with good
insurance where I could exercise my creativity and knowledge with kids who
adored me! Win! I was winning for nine years when I thought it was
time for another change...
I decided to be a stay at home mom. I quickly
found out this job is BORING! And thankless. And unpaid.
People, don't give me the rhetoric about it being the best job in the
world. It isn't. I wouldn't trade this career though (except maybe
for the one where my friend has where she gets to hang out in professional
baseball locker rooms and interview players). This is my mission now and
I am locked in. This one is for two other little people, not me.
Believe me, I know it won't last forever, so I am room-mothering it up
while I can.
So, dreams dashed? Nah, they just shifted. I still am
an animal nerd. I drag Chad and the kids to Sea World, and I make them
watch Animal Planet. I love Ranger Rick magazines, and my friends always
send pictures of roadkill that they can’t identify because they know I’ll know
what it is (most of the time anyway – the insides of most animals look the same
when they’re smashed to a pulp).
A few years ago I even rode that dolphin.
It was awesome!! I wanted to post a picture but my printer is on scanner strike.
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